Monday, April 16, 2007
Here writes Urs truly!!!
I'll dismiss with the formalities of going over and over on how long since I've last blogged, or how I'm so sorry it has been THAT long. Right now, I have trouble breathing. This ain't the usual all-so-cheerful Laurel blogging, but a down and out Laurel whose reality ain't so bright after all. Before I go about what shadows my heart, this is how the day went..
Got up later than wanted and almost was late for school, hell, no matter how hard I try to be early or on time, I always will be late for my 1st day or school. After that, subsequently I'll be late, its like a superstitious Chinese belief where the 1st time u do something, it'll end up the same way. Took a cab to school, went through 1 major jam on the PIE before going through another 2 mini jams just 15 mins away from school. Imagine, leaving Simei 1/2 an hour before time, and having to reach school 45 mins later, if I wanted that I might as well had taken the MRT instead of a $20 cab ride to school. Oh wells, its the 1st time I had a American teacher! Although his lecture was quite boring, it was an experience. After that, had lunch with the bunch. Suddenly I have a ready made clique to go to, LOL! It was off to RWPS after lunch, finally got to meet up with the rest of the class of DBF 04, fun bunch though, foresee good relations in future.
Come the end of school period, I helped out Student Comperes at the CCA drive, the irony, I'm not even one of them! Hahaz.. After a while, my dearest came out and we shared a KFC meal together. I dunno what came over me, but I feel that my gf is better of with her new found friends she met at camp. I feel I'm just not right for her. I'm just not fun for her, I know she just doesn't want to tell me, but I just know. This is just the start..
During the SB meeting of which I left my dear for, gave me the second most deepest shock of my life. Now I know, dreams are left to dreamers, while others just get it. I somehow don't wanna talk bout it, but I have remained silent and downcast ever since then. I can't get it off my chest. Even right now, I can't seem to smile. I realise that I'm not good enough. Not good enough for anything, not even second place.
Thats my day in a nutshell, think bout it if you were me. I'd rather die.
p.s. I'm so sorry I made my dearest wait for me for the whole day. In the end, I didn't meet her. I'm such a bad bf. It sucks really.. To know that you're hurting a loved one, when there's nothing you can do. To know that being selfish in love, can cause a heartbreak, right now.. She ain't replying. I'm Sorry.
Remixed on..
4/16/2007 10:19:00 PM
